Bright Point Hypnoblog
Your Withering New Year’s Resolutions
It seemed like the perfect relationship. There were promises, declarations, commitments made. Visions of a bright and beautiful future together. And now, a few weeks into January, you’re not getting along at all. You and your resolutions are more often bickering than agreeing. You’re seriously considering a life without them. Do you and your resolutions really have to break up?
Most of us have made them, and most of us have also failed by Valentine’s Day. Does it have to be this way? Can this relationship be saved?
Resolutions fail in large part because they’re unrealistic. Maybe you’re trying to lose weight, exercise, eat healthier, or quit smoking – If you’re setting your expectations too high you’re also setting yourself up for a possible fail. If your goal is to lose 50 pounds, thinking you can do it by February isn’t going to help you. Tackle the first 5 or 10. Give yourself a realistic “lose by” date. Understand you’re in it for the long haul. If your goal is to quit smoking, becoming mindful of your smoking habits with a proposed quit date in sight is more reasonable than quitting immediately without taking the time to think about your own habits. With a little tweaking you can formulate a working, realistic resolution.
You can also drop the plural and make the one single realistic resolution that’s the most important. Making one resolution is far more reasonable than tackling several areas at once. Prioritize. Choose the one goal that’s the most pressing and then focus exclusively on that.
Then you need a plan! Otherwise it’s like going grocery shopping without a list when you’re hungry. If your goal is to ‘lose weight’ but you haven’t thought about exactly how to do that, you’re sunk. Will you cut out a certain type of food? Exercise three times a week? No food after 8:00? I’m just gonna eat less! is not always your best idea. Over the years in my hypnosis practice I’ve found that when my clients and I take time to discuss and formulate a very specific plan they’re always more successful.
It doesn’t hurt to have someone on your side, so enlist help. Ask friends or family to partner with you, or just make them aware of your goals so they can cheer you on. And remember, you’re not ‘reinventing’ yourself, you’re just making an adjustment.
And most important – be kind to yourself! If you have a setback it’s OK. You’re creating a lifestyle and it takes a little time and a few missteps. One of my old hypnosis teachers posed this scenario – If a server is carrying a tray with ten glasses of champagne on it and one falls off, she wouldn’t give up and dump the rest of the tray on the ground. So save your other nine successes and have a happy and successful year.
Lori Fine is a Certified Counseling Hypnotist, Member of NGH.